Post by virgindick on Feb 8, 2006 9:10:19 GMT -5
Hash Trash
Monday, Feb. 6, 2006
by
XXX
Disclaimer: Here’s what we saw, here’s what we heard, and here’s what we did...OK, to be honest, it’s just what we can collectively remember after all that beer...we probably missed a bunch, but this is the best we got...btw, we don’t know what the FRBs did, ‘cause we weren’t them (they should feel free to addendum ad indinitum) :
A bunch of screamin’ Hashers gathered at yet another secure banking location in North Miami on Monday, despite hellish traffic conditions on ROUTE 95 and a potentially “stab-worthy” trail location, to support DON’T CRY FOR ME, ARGENTUNA on her quest as hare...unfortunately, this was not to be, as she had thrown out her (perfectly good) back previously (and why would a girl throw out a perfectly good back? That’s what we want to know!); JERRY’S DOG was understandably whiny when his master STOP THE BUS left to hare trail in her stead.
Present at the pre-trail festivities were: DRY HUMP, all the way from Palm Beach (too far for CUM AGAIN), SHUT THE fuck UP: when, oh, WHEN will she r*n rail?? Mark our words, the day is coming! Be warned! Also present was CHICKEN PLUCKER, who is accused of eating unidentified nasty objects before trail (though while wearing highly fashionable Mardi Gras beads). And while we’re in that mode, we accuse CAPTAIN DRAIN of overachieving drinking: why is it that he never seems to r*n with the rest of us...could he like BEER more than the average Hasher?!? (is that POSSIBLE?)...And is that why he chooses not to waste precious time r*nning?!? A wise man, he seems to us!
Before we knew it, STOP THE BUS, MY FRIEND WANTS TO JACK OFF (or whatever his name is nowadays) – sped off to hare a cleverly deceitful trail, full of checks, check-backs, “blowjobs” and other spiteful obfuscations. (Everyone especially appreciated the noisily-tuneful crossing of the bridge over the canal, the “Hoe Repair” shop, and the circle jerk.) The VIRGIN DICK was seen being grumpy on trail: a “witchy way” (“whichy way?”) mark apparently put him in a bad temper. We enjoyed ACTIONMAN’S unexpected army man addition to the first check. TONGUE IN GROOVE is reported to be the cause of at least one vehicular accident...ask anyone present for further details. We’re told that COLD PORTER (aka “GASH”) – whose profuse wounds from his previous wild card imitation of Carrie amounted to naught, with barely a visible scratch in evidence – brought peril to the rest of the FRBs when he enticed them into running out into traffic...but that’s hearsay, and should be taken from whence it comes.
Our DFL crew apparently affronted a tennis-ianato, who indignantly exclaimed “HEY! We’re playing tennis, here!” We replied: “HEY! We’re running, here!; Go back to Jersey!”...no further response was noted.
At long last, and after a confusing check or two, it was a sweet, sweet sight to see JERRY’S DOG running across the grass toward us at the Beer Near mark...even if there was some confusion betwixt his masters as to where the exact location for the long- anticipated Beer Check should be.
One picturesque beer check (though ITSY BITSY remained characteristically alone and apart) and a couple of miles later, NO GRAPPA proved herself the master of the accusation that cuts to the bone, accusing LEAKY SACK of not being satisfied with American women, but lusting after Thai women...and as she pointed out, there WAS a Malaysian women present...but visitor TWIGLET was taken (an affiliation with ACTIONMAN is strongly hinted at). Sadly, “some dreams don’t come true...” NO GRAPPA’s words, and as they say, “read’em and weep.”
SUCKS ON THE BEACH was accused of taking copious pen-and- paper notes on trail...which amounted to no unique accusations. ASA showed great taste (and restraint) by buying just two of the remaining three “Menage a Trois” wildcard shirts...Visitor ACTION MAN from Australia (and London and Malaysia, and elsewhere) was apparently accused for the SECOND TIME in the Broward/Dade County region of wearing “stupid f*cking running shorts” and “overachieving attire.” After some rather feeble hash singing, wherein most Hashers forgot the words to songs even THEY thought they knew, the majority of the group repaired to the “Shark & Tarpon Club,” which VD assured us would welcome us with open arms...even though he wasn’t QUITE sure how to get there.
Sadly, the S&T’s kitchen seemed closed for repairs...though ARGENTUNA and STOP THE BUS hastily made things right by ordering 3 delicious pizzas to be delivered. Apparently, we were JUST in time (shucks) to catch the local karaoke purveyor, who hastened to set up his gear after we promised him a song or two.
And now, a few words about the On After...let’s talk about ITSY BITSY: though he’s at times an Antisocial Ranger on trail, the man can SCAT! Isn’t it funny that the fellow who can’t recently seem to remember the words to most hash songs (!) can sing every word to “The Lady Is A Tramp”...hmmmm.....more karaoke is surely needed to clarify this situation. Noted: ACTIONMAN is a willing and enthusiastic singer, as is CAPTAIN DRAIN (as long as it’s a Beatles’ song playing). Though XXXer Q TITS was undistinguished on trail, she proved herself a surprising ringleader at the karaoke...Q has no singing voice, but lots of enthusiasm; TWIGLET was in her glory with ARGENTUNA when all the Harriettes sang “We Are Family” (it should be belatedly noted that TWIGLET was repeatedly asked to sing a Malaysian Hash song in circle...but kept forgetting the words). VIRGIN DICK was seen dirty dancing with TIG (the few times she or Q could drag his unwilling self to the floor).
BELLY DANCER proved himself a willing singer, especially effective as part of the BD/Q-TITS backup team for CAPTAIN DRAIN’s “Yellow Submarine.” XXXer TONGUE IN GROOVE was appreciated for her dancing and occasional backup choruses...her “Walk Like An Egyptian” style was noted (rumor is that she’s visited Egypt IN PERSON, as well as taking in the local Tut exhibit, from which she likely derived her funky moves):...TIG sure can shake that booty; LEAKY SACK, a self-proclaimed “non- singer,” is apparently a closet Bachman Turner Overdrive fan: he may SAY he can’t sing, but put a microphone in his hand and he’ll surprise you...the man can “Take Care of Business” with the best of them!
XXXer DAILY DOUBLE seemed happy that VD’s “Shark and Tarpon” served “proper booze” instead of “just beer”..DAILY surprised us all with a few karaoke songs, unlike STOP THE BUS (and the S&T regulars...all 5 of them...) who REFUSED to sing, despite multiple XXXer enticement.
Well, that’s what we saw and heard and did, and if you saw, heard or did anything different, we’d love to hear about it. ON ON – the XXXers
Monday, Feb. 6, 2006
by
XXX
Disclaimer: Here’s what we saw, here’s what we heard, and here’s what we did...OK, to be honest, it’s just what we can collectively remember after all that beer...we probably missed a bunch, but this is the best we got...btw, we don’t know what the FRBs did, ‘cause we weren’t them (they should feel free to addendum ad indinitum) :
A bunch of screamin’ Hashers gathered at yet another secure banking location in North Miami on Monday, despite hellish traffic conditions on ROUTE 95 and a potentially “stab-worthy” trail location, to support DON’T CRY FOR ME, ARGENTUNA on her quest as hare...unfortunately, this was not to be, as she had thrown out her (perfectly good) back previously (and why would a girl throw out a perfectly good back? That’s what we want to know!); JERRY’S DOG was understandably whiny when his master STOP THE BUS left to hare trail in her stead.
Present at the pre-trail festivities were: DRY HUMP, all the way from Palm Beach (too far for CUM AGAIN), SHUT THE fuck UP: when, oh, WHEN will she r*n rail?? Mark our words, the day is coming! Be warned! Also present was CHICKEN PLUCKER, who is accused of eating unidentified nasty objects before trail (though while wearing highly fashionable Mardi Gras beads). And while we’re in that mode, we accuse CAPTAIN DRAIN of overachieving drinking: why is it that he never seems to r*n with the rest of us...could he like BEER more than the average Hasher?!? (is that POSSIBLE?)...And is that why he chooses not to waste precious time r*nning?!? A wise man, he seems to us!
Before we knew it, STOP THE BUS, MY FRIEND WANTS TO JACK OFF (or whatever his name is nowadays) – sped off to hare a cleverly deceitful trail, full of checks, check-backs, “blowjobs” and other spiteful obfuscations. (Everyone especially appreciated the noisily-tuneful crossing of the bridge over the canal, the “Hoe Repair” shop, and the circle jerk.) The VIRGIN DICK was seen being grumpy on trail: a “witchy way” (“whichy way?”) mark apparently put him in a bad temper. We enjoyed ACTIONMAN’S unexpected army man addition to the first check. TONGUE IN GROOVE is reported to be the cause of at least one vehicular accident...ask anyone present for further details. We’re told that COLD PORTER (aka “GASH”) – whose profuse wounds from his previous wild card imitation of Carrie amounted to naught, with barely a visible scratch in evidence – brought peril to the rest of the FRBs when he enticed them into running out into traffic...but that’s hearsay, and should be taken from whence it comes.
Our DFL crew apparently affronted a tennis-ianato, who indignantly exclaimed “HEY! We’re playing tennis, here!” We replied: “HEY! We’re running, here!; Go back to Jersey!”...no further response was noted.
At long last, and after a confusing check or two, it was a sweet, sweet sight to see JERRY’S DOG running across the grass toward us at the Beer Near mark...even if there was some confusion betwixt his masters as to where the exact location for the long- anticipated Beer Check should be.
One picturesque beer check (though ITSY BITSY remained characteristically alone and apart) and a couple of miles later, NO GRAPPA proved herself the master of the accusation that cuts to the bone, accusing LEAKY SACK of not being satisfied with American women, but lusting after Thai women...and as she pointed out, there WAS a Malaysian women present...but visitor TWIGLET was taken (an affiliation with ACTIONMAN is strongly hinted at). Sadly, “some dreams don’t come true...” NO GRAPPA’s words, and as they say, “read’em and weep.”
SUCKS ON THE BEACH was accused of taking copious pen-and- paper notes on trail...which amounted to no unique accusations. ASA showed great taste (and restraint) by buying just two of the remaining three “Menage a Trois” wildcard shirts...Visitor ACTION MAN from Australia (and London and Malaysia, and elsewhere) was apparently accused for the SECOND TIME in the Broward/Dade County region of wearing “stupid f*cking running shorts” and “overachieving attire.” After some rather feeble hash singing, wherein most Hashers forgot the words to songs even THEY thought they knew, the majority of the group repaired to the “Shark & Tarpon Club,” which VD assured us would welcome us with open arms...even though he wasn’t QUITE sure how to get there.
Sadly, the S&T’s kitchen seemed closed for repairs...though ARGENTUNA and STOP THE BUS hastily made things right by ordering 3 delicious pizzas to be delivered. Apparently, we were JUST in time (shucks) to catch the local karaoke purveyor, who hastened to set up his gear after we promised him a song or two.
And now, a few words about the On After...let’s talk about ITSY BITSY: though he’s at times an Antisocial Ranger on trail, the man can SCAT! Isn’t it funny that the fellow who can’t recently seem to remember the words to most hash songs (!) can sing every word to “The Lady Is A Tramp”...hmmmm.....more karaoke is surely needed to clarify this situation. Noted: ACTIONMAN is a willing and enthusiastic singer, as is CAPTAIN DRAIN (as long as it’s a Beatles’ song playing). Though XXXer Q TITS was undistinguished on trail, she proved herself a surprising ringleader at the karaoke...Q has no singing voice, but lots of enthusiasm; TWIGLET was in her glory with ARGENTUNA when all the Harriettes sang “We Are Family” (it should be belatedly noted that TWIGLET was repeatedly asked to sing a Malaysian Hash song in circle...but kept forgetting the words). VIRGIN DICK was seen dirty dancing with TIG (the few times she or Q could drag his unwilling self to the floor).
BELLY DANCER proved himself a willing singer, especially effective as part of the BD/Q-TITS backup team for CAPTAIN DRAIN’s “Yellow Submarine.” XXXer TONGUE IN GROOVE was appreciated for her dancing and occasional backup choruses...her “Walk Like An Egyptian” style was noted (rumor is that she’s visited Egypt IN PERSON, as well as taking in the local Tut exhibit, from which she likely derived her funky moves):...TIG sure can shake that booty; LEAKY SACK, a self-proclaimed “non- singer,” is apparently a closet Bachman Turner Overdrive fan: he may SAY he can’t sing, but put a microphone in his hand and he’ll surprise you...the man can “Take Care of Business” with the best of them!
XXXer DAILY DOUBLE seemed happy that VD’s “Shark and Tarpon” served “proper booze” instead of “just beer”..DAILY surprised us all with a few karaoke songs, unlike STOP THE BUS (and the S&T regulars...all 5 of them...) who REFUSED to sing, despite multiple XXXer enticement.
Well, that’s what we saw and heard and did, and if you saw, heard or did anything different, we’d love to hear about it. ON ON – the XXXers