Sat 4/15 - SoFl Hash Awards Hash, Show, and Dinner

[virgindick]

The South Florida Hash Awards Hash
Hall of Fame/Founder’s Club
Awards Show & Dinner
April 15, 2006
Virginia Key, FL
(next to the old Miami Marine Stadium)

Time: Happy Hour begins at 2 PM
Hares away for Ball Buster Trail at 2:30 PM
Hares away for Scenic Trail at 3:00 PM (Wanker & Walker friendly)

Cost: $20 includes Beer, T-shirt, Beer, Munchies, Beer, special amenities, Beer, Admission to Awards Dinner with Beer, Awards, Beer, Live Entertainment, and more, including Beer. ($5 admission to Awards dinner only). Food is on your own from a very good and reasonably priced menu)

Location: Between the old Miami Marine Stadium and Bayside Hut on Virginia Key.

Erections: I-95 South to Exit 2 (Key Biscayne). Follow the exit through the first light and take the left hand curve (all lanes). Go straight and through the toll ($1.25) onto the Rickenbacker Causeway. Go over the first small bridge and the second large bridge (this is the Rickenbacker) and take the 2nd Left hand turn (double turning lanes) into parking area. Turn left and follow drive around toward Bayside Hut. You will see the Hash flag and screaming hashers and you are there.

Special notes: So we can plan beer, food, etc. appropriately, if you think you are cuming, please let Virgin dick know now, by email to: [e-mail] or by calling him at [phone]. If you include your T-Shirt size the Shell Shocked designed shirt you get will probably fit you.

Hotels available today are:

Silver Sands on Key Biscayne. The manager, Carmen, offered a $169 rate, less 10% if we take 5 rooms. Ask for her at 305-361-5441 to get the rate. This property is next to the Sonesta. The hotel rooms are nice and clean, but the Beach is great, and hotel has a nice grounds and a pool. Baby Ruth has already booked his room.

Hampton Inn, Coconut Grove at 2800 Southwest 28th Terrace, Miami, Florida, United States, 33133, 1-305-448-2800. The manager offered us a $139 rate if we take at least 6 rooms. The hotel rate includes breakfast, free local phone calls and free high speed internet. To book, ask for extention #153 and speak with Odie.

Free camping is being offered at Casa de Tuna by ArgenTuna and Stop the Bus. They have a great house at 2430 Trapp Ave. in Coconut Grove and they have offered their beautiful backyard for camping for this event. Please contact them directly at 305 469-7377.

We are still working on limo/van roundtrip transportation from Palm Beach and Broward, but if you can help with those arrangements, please do it.

Please let us know if you plan to attend! Email the Virgin dick at [e-mail]

See you on trail!

On On


;D

[Yeast]

Transporation options for the Hash Awards on April 15

By Car - Bayside Hut, 3501 Rickenbacker Cswy, Key Biscayne, FL 33149
Ph: [phone]
Erections: I-95 South, through Miami to exit #1A, Rickenbacker
Causeway/Key Biscayne. Follow exit signage (road curves to the left)
to Rickenbacker Causeway and proceed 2.7 miles (toll of $1.25.) Turn
left (2nd left turn after the causeway bridge) into Miami Marine
Stadium and Bayside Hut entranceway. Proceed left and find the
screaming hashers.

If you're driving, please offer a ride to your fellow-area hashers!

By Tri-Rail/Metro/Bus: ($7.50 total cost: $4.00 for round trip
tri-rail, $1 for metrorail/bus transfers to the Marine Stadium and
$2.50 for bus and transfers on the way home)
Take the Southbound Train to the Metrorail Transfer stop. You'll need
to leave at the following times to get to the Marine Stadium by 2:00 pm:

. West Palm - 10:53 am

. Lake Worth - 11:02 am

. Boca Raton - 11:22 am

. Pompano Beach - 11:34 am

. Fort Lauderdale - 11:47 am

. Hollywood - 12:03 pm
There are other stations where you can access the Tri-Rail. For more
information, consult the website at www.tri-rail.com.

Exit the Tri-Rail at the "Metrorail Transfer" stop and take the
Metrorail to "Brickell Station." At Brickell Station, take Metrobus
Route B. Tell driver you want to exit Marine Stadium or it's a ½ mile
walk from the next scheduled stop, the Mast Academy.
The last bus for the return trip requires you to be at the stop by
7:15 pm. If you can get a ride or taxi to the Brickell station by
9:00 pm, you can get the last Tri-Rail at 9:36 pm. This gets you back
to Fort Lauderdale at 10:03 pm or West Palm Beach at about 11:09 pm.

By Limo/Van: Absolute Limousines has quoted us a rate of $328 each
way from West Palm to Bayside Hut, for a total of $655 for 10 person
limo or van. Likewise the rate for Fort Lauderdale to Bayside Hut is
$198 each way, for a total of $396 for 10 person limo or van. If
you'd like to organize a group of 10 to rent a van or limo, let
Tongue-in-Groove know and she'll help you arrange the ride.
Alternatively, if you'd like to contact Absolute Limo directly, call
them at [phone].
See you at the Hash Awards! OnOn, TiG

[threeandahalf]

The 2006 South Florida Hash Award ceremony was held on Saturday night.
Me and Circumspector stopped to pick up PeckerHunter, CommunityChest and SemenoleFluid on the way down to Miami. We had all opted to skip the run portion of the day's events, and just do the food and the awards.



We finally got to south Miami, and headed east on the Rickenbacker Causeway to the old Marine Stadium. There was nobody in sight, but we did find a parking lot of hash vehicles, and a cooler full of beer that someone had thoughtfully left behind. We hung around for a while, more lost hashers appeared, and eventually Sux on the Beach appeared to lead all of us to Jimbos. Jimbos was a colorful place near the water. I don't know the story behind it, but it has the look of one of those places that was grandfathered in, like the Biscayne Bay stilt houses. A location like that should really be a 30 story condominium instead of a simple place where you can go to get a beer and sit outside.



There were lots of hashers we hadn't seen for a while, but the most shocking of all was... Blowhoe. He was in town for a while. He moved from Hollywood, Fl a couple years ago, to Hollywood, CA. He is now appearing as a rapping roller skater. Check him out at www.rollerrapper.com. We took lots of photos for his site.





Then it was time for the group shot. Someone, possibly Jimbo himself, climbed up on a table to get the shot. The crowd was encouraging for a while, but began to mock him when he took way too long to get it done.



One the way out I took a moment to appreciate this monument to the VW bug.



Back at the parking lot, the circle commenced. We matched up Blowhoe's girl-of-the-day with another young hasher. They did a co-down-down, but despite plenty of encouragement, would not fight or kiss.




There were plenty of other down-downs as well, although S&Minator was not able to stay awake for them. Horshack did have a nice drinking vessel, and Itsy pants were just a masculine as ever. Which is to say, not at all.



Then the party moved inside for food, beer, and the awards ceremony. I stopped taking pictures around then. There were twenty awards given out, for all kinds of things, like Rookie of the Year (DBK), and Best Ranger (CA). It was a grand time. There were some skits, too, including one with me in the cast. Fortunately you don't have to see me in a bikini top, but check out P-rick and Yeast. Then they ran us out of there for the Latin Disco Party.

[virgindick]

HASH TRASH (Tongue-in-Groove)
SoFL Hash Awards · April 15, 2006 · Virginia Key, Miami, FL
As we drove over the Rickenbacker Causeway, admiring the incredible turquoise Biscayne Bay and the impressive South Miami skyline, I wondered how the 1st Annual SoFL Hash Awards would turn out. Virgin Dick’s monumental task of corralling 50+ harriers & harriettes, including many who had not been seen for years, into an event that required forethought and organization (neither a prerequisite for hashing), seemed a little far-fetched to me at the moment.
Nonetheless, Q-Tits, Daily Double and I pulled into the Miami Marine Stadium lot on this fabulous day, to join Paid to Peep, who had already staked out his spot under the cloudless, blue sky in his folding stadium chair, with sunscreen in hand. Lead hare, VD, pulled up hurriedly, announced that he had last minute trail preparations, and sped off again, sadly leaving us with no beer. Hashers started arriving at a steady clip: Yeast Infection & Nurse Goodbody, Virgin Sam, PedalPhile, fuck Me I’m Gay from Brooklyn, Shellshocked and the famous Patchwork Quilt all cuming in the first wave. As I began collecting hash cash, Shell Shocked distributed her excellently designed t-shirts and Q-Tits strong-armed hashers into filling out a questionnaire, which most did under protest. VD returned and sent Daily Double to the nearby beach to wave in Tiny Testes, who captained his Boston Whaler to the event. A new group arrived, Coming or Going, Anal Inspector, S&Minator, Gator Hater, and Suck me Dry, and it became increasingly difficult to convince these half-minds to pay $20, when there was still no beer at the hash! Just in time, co-hare Stop the Bus, Argentuna and trusty companion, Jerry’s Dog, arrived to save the day, delivering cooler after cooler of almost-cold beer. Co-hare Sucks on the Beach arrived, with Liquor Briefs and ever-faithful hashdog Chicken Plucker, followed by fourth and final hare, Pelvis Lives. Carload after carload of hashers pulled in, including Weathered cock, attired in his usual polyester finery and the hash shit life preserver, and Princess Layya, complete with a sun-deflecting parasol for trail. I counted a grand total of 47 runners and walkers, all downing beer and getting ready for trail.
VD called a quick chalk talk and sprinted away to hare the “BallBuster” trail, which was threatened to be “long and arduous,” although he slyly avoided divulging exactly how long. After a 20 minute reprieve, Belly Dancer, Gator Hater, Teflon Willy, Sticky Thumbs, Leaky Sak, FMIG, Nurse Goodbody, Yeast Infection, Suck Me Dry, Anal Inspector, and Patch Work Quilt departed to begin their long journey through the Marine Stadium, back over the Rickenbacker Causeway, and into Coconut Grove for their first beercheck out of Tiny Testes' boat from the Bayside of Alice Wainwright Park. Cold Porter dejectedly announced that he wouldn’t run with the BallBusters. Given his qualification for the upcoming Boston Marathon and his propensity for trail injuries, he just couldn’t risk it.
Back at the Marine Stadium, the remaining hashers continued to consume beerverages and eat cheesy orange balls, while waiting for the Runners and Walkers trails to be announced. Stop the Bus called forth the Runners and shouted a warning to not mistakenly follow the Ballbuster trail, as he darted away. Hashers shouted after him, “How will we know the difference?” but Stop the Bus enigmatically replyed, “You’ll just know.” Shortly after, the Runner’s pack took off for an amazing graffiti and bayview tour in the long-abandoned Marine Stadium, followed by a quick jaunt across the parking lot, only to immediately lose trail. Some saw the approaching Walkers and followed their lead. Other’s broke off into smaller groups and darted off in all directions from the last check, with some never to be seen again on trail. Cuming or Going, PedalPhile, Osama bin Hashing, Virgin Miriam and I set off toward Miami through the roadside palm grove, after spotting tree marks that were missed by the other hashers. We continued to follow the sparsely thrown flour trail, into the Rusty Pelican entrance, by the Private – Owner’s Only - No Trespassing signs and through the Marina Docks. The trail led us under the Causeway, requiring a very careful shimmy between a fence and the seawall’s edge to avoid the bay below and to arrive on the beach side of the road. Throngs of sunbathers and picnickers greeted us with a menagerie of multi-lingual encouragement, bar-b-qued meat smells, loud music, and some very skimpy bathing suits. Virgin Miriam’s protested, “It smells like dead fish,” but was cut short by her brother, Osama bin Hashing, who explained that she shouldn’t make comments like that until after her naming hash. Now, the BallBuster’s merged in with the Runners, and we once again lost trail. While some circled back to the last mark, Teflon Willy and Gator Hater bolted ahead to find some faint plop remnants among the beach-goers and whistled everyone back on trail. Shortly after, we crossed the SeaAquarium Parking lot to the much-appreciated “Beer Near” mark and into the Beer Check, just outside the University of Miami Marine Science Campus. Sucks on the Beach enthusiastically offered water to the pack, but despite the heat, many opted for beer first. VD called for everyone to “get up against the wall,” prompting Teflon, GatorHater, Osama and others to assume the spread eagle position, while Nurse Goodbody and I frisked them down. VD then clarified that he just wanted to take a picture, so amidst complaints from ItsyBitsy and S&Minator (“Why didn’t I get frisked?”) the group got together and a bawdy photo was taken. Unfortunately, a quick count told us that we’d lost 10 hashers on trail.
After much needed hydration, the hares and then the pack, departed via the nearby bridge embankment, across heavy traffic and down onto the beach and hiking trails of the Virginia Key Reserve and Park. A lengthy run on the beach and nearby sandy paths ensued, again providing excellent sightseeing opportunities and comments on trail:
· “Why are you running?” “For beer!” “Can we come too?”
· “If I could get that abandoned sailboat home, I could fix it up.”
· “Look, that woman’s giving her man a blow job in the water!”
Nurse Goodbody and PedalPhile, running on the nearby road, were confronted by a Spanish-speaking Park Ranger, attempting to stop them from continuing into the “closed” portion of the park. In response, they waved and shouted “No habla Espanol,” then ran back to the beach to join the rest of the pack. We jumped over piles of seaweed and through sulfur-smelling mud, before the trail rounded a corner and ended at a canal. The lead hare himself, VD, was there to explain our choices: Swim across to continue the trail on the other side -or- circle back and re-run the last couple miles of the beach trail. Ugh. I opted to swim across the mucky, seagrass-infested canal, only to notice Tiny Testes and friends (how did Patch go from Ball Buster to the boat, anyway?) comfortably observing and snapping photos from Tiny’s boat. Once safely on the other side, dripping hashers put their shoes on again and took off through the woods to quickly find the last, glorious “BN” mark. Passing a collection of sleeping bags and blankets, and then some seedy-looking and worse-smelling campers, we came upon the most bizarre, third world country-looking place. Had we run all the way to Central America? A chaotic marina, wild chickens, self-service beer cooler, haphazard groupings of shacks and rusting autos, an odd assortment of local residents (possibly last month’s patients at the Miami meth clinic) and the occasional visitor or tourist, all co-exist here to create the bar known as Jimbo’s. Anal Inspector explained the proximity of the local sewage treatment plant, prompting several hashers to wander off in search of a fresh water hose for showering. Glasshole could be seen chomping on a rat-sized hunk of meat that was later identified as smoked fish. We greeted latecomers, Community Chest, Pecker Hunter, Seminole Fluid, 3.5” Drive, Circumspector, Double D (in Wacker Jack's Beemer), Cum Again, Climaxes and Bootlicker, who increased the day’s turnout to 56. When all hashers were accounted for, we grouped together for more photos and launched into a few rousing hash songs, including the Benito Mussolini dance, which greatly entertained the other patrons. After a few more choice songs, VD announced the trail to be complete and advised everyone to pile into whatever cars were there to ride back to the Marine Stadium.
Back at the start, a very rowdy circle began with alternating leaders: TeflonWilly, Blarney Bastard, Baby Ruth, and frequent input from the other Founders and Hall of Famers. The hares were chastised and down-downed for a very shiggy trail, followed by abuse of the lovely Virgins Miriam and Janice, who resisted calls for displaying body parts and kissing each other. Next the hash “honored” the visitors, and a multitude of down-downs ensued, including a Boat Hashing accusation extended to Tiny, Patchwork, ShellShocked and Shut the F*#k Up. S&Minator found himself an abandoned office chair, but was promptly called into circle for sitting in it. Nurse Goodbody managed to de-pants Baby Ruth, during an accusation, which led to further “moonings” and cries from the circle, “Yikes, put your pants back on.” BlowHole entertained us with a stirring number featuring Jim Jones and his fateful Kool-aid drinking cult. Finally, VD declared that we were an hour late for the award show and the circle concluded with a boisterous rendition of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
Inside the Bayside Hut, our bartender began pouring the first of many pitchers to be consumed by the hashers. Q-Tits distributed her excellent toetags to the crowd and Silver Hummer’s and Liquor Briefs' amazing computer video and slideshow provided background, entertaining us with great photos from past hashes. Silver and Itsy Bitsy kicked off the Awards presentation to a raucous crowd, who sometimes seemed a little more into eating and drinking, than listening. They opened the carefully sealed envelopes (audited by the accounting firm of 3.5” Drive) and by flashlight, read the results. And the awards go to…
Drunkest Hasher – Ocean Pig FRB – Cold Porter
Rookie of the Year – Dirty Butt Kiss Sexiest Male – S&Minator
DFL – Eat-a-Puss Sexiest Female – Byko Dyko
The winners came onto stage to receive a distinctive beer “Muggie” award (also created by the 3.5” Drive) to commemorate their achievement, and then the audience “honored” them with loud and unruly hash songs. On behalf of the West Palm Beach H3, Nurse Goodbody, Circumspector, and cross-dressing Yeast Infection, 3.5” Drive and P-RICK performed the first skit, a Brokeback Mountain’esque production, to a generally drunk and belligerent crowd.
Next, awards go to…..
Most Competitive – Dirty Butt Kiss Best T-shirt – ShellShocked Granny T
Ranging Hasher – Cum Again Visiting Hasher – Eat-a-Puss
Funniest Hasher – ItsyBitsy Best On After – Ralph & Rosies Best Song – “If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over”
For the Wildcard Hash, Belly Dancer led a mock game show, The Unknown Hasher, assisted by TW as independent judge and by red-dress clad Q-Tits and I, as the hash versions of Vanna White and Carol Merrill. Who knew that Coming or Going had four wives, or that Patchwork Quilt was a mercenary in Africa, or that Gator Hater has a band called “Wood’n Maid’n?” Obviously, the West Palm Beach H3 knew, since they “won” the game and received magnetic hash fish from TW, as their prize. Isty announced yet more awards:
Best Beer Check – Paid to Peep’s Dania Hurricane Rollercoaster Check Best Trail - Cum Again’s Golf Course & Beach Trail
Best New Name– Muffy the penis Layer Best Body Part – Princess Layya
Best Theme Trail – St. Patrick’s DayBest Hash Animal – Chicken Plucker Best Hash – tie between Reggae Fest Hash and St. Patrick’s Day Hash

The final skit by TCH3, featured GatorHater and whoreshack, dressed in full, furry bunny costume, laying trail, being caught and then tackled by the pack. Although very brief, everyone cheered their approval.
The awards continued with a tribute to all the SoFL Hash Founder’s and Hall of Famers, and VD presented each with an OnOn Foot plaque, painstakingly crafted by the very creative Liquor Briefs and Sucks on the Beach. Finally, our Awards Hash founder, Virgin Dick, received an OnOn Foot pillow and his own silver “Muggie,” to thank him for all of his hard work and commitment to pulling this event together. At this point, the Bayside Hut management encouraged our departure, so they could set up for the impending Latin Dance Party, and although we were welcome to attend, hashers scattered in all directions, marking the end of a very long, but extremely enjoyable day.
We had a fantastic Awards Hash, with great beer, fine weather, good company and more great beer. Despite the long shot, Hare VD and his Hare’m of helpers pulled off the event and managed to attract a bunch of present and past SoFL hashers from all over, provide some groovy give-aways and a really fun time. If you didn’t make it to the Hash Awards, you were missed. Well, these are the ramblings of one hasher, who has quite inebriated by the end of the evening, so don’t bet on any of this being complete or accurate, or even close for that matter! OnOn, TiG
We were there: Virgin Dick, Paid to Peep, Daily Double, Q-Tits, TiG, Yeast Infection, Nurse Goodbody, Virgin Sam, PedalPhile, fuck Me I'm Gay, Patchwork Quilt, ShellShocked, Tiny Testes, Cuming or Going, Anal Inspector, S&Minator, GatorHater, Suck Me Dry, Stop the Bus, Argentuna, Sucks on the Beach, Liquor Briefs, Glasshole, Teflon Willy, P-RICK, Cold Porter, Belly Dancer, Sticky Thumbs, Silver Hummer, Leaky Sak, Pelvis Lives, Shut the F*#k Up, BlowHole, Virgin Janice, All Hands on Dick, Baby Ruth, Virgin Miriam, Osama bin Hashing, ItsyBitsy, Desperate Housewife, Trips a Lot, Princess Layya, Fill Me with Cream, NFHN Bob, Weathered cock, NFHN Ed, Blarney Bastard, whoreshack, Community Chest, Pecker Hunter, Seminole Fluid, 3.5" Drive, Circumspector, Double D, Cum Again, Climaxes by Night, Bootlicker

[Yeast]

Shell Shocked's photos: www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?collid=514348245305